How to tell if you're a seriously old climber:

[Harry]

- You go to church and scout out routes to the ceiling.
- You know how to get on your roof without a ladder.
- You begin buying your shoes 2 sizes too small out of habit.
- You have no idea why your hands are bleeding.
- You aerate your lawn with your crampons.
- Your climbing equipment is worth more than your car.
- Your body is worn out and you need medical attention, but that would take away from your climbing time, so you continue to hobble
- You insist on eating out in older areas, since the buildings are more climbable.
- Your ice axe is made of wood.
- The contents of the relic walls in climbing shops is newer than your own rack.
- You bolted the side of your house and it ended up in a local guide book as a 6b.
- People come round to your house on weekends to climb because your wall is better than the local climbing center.
- You remember when sex was safe and climbing was dangerous